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Being an Optimist - Part 1

OK, so maybe you hate optimists. You have are explained by Professor Seligman's
this picture in your mind of someone three "p's" of pessimism.
mindlessly watching Pollyanna on the late PERMANENCE
show until three o'clock in the morning, Pessimists give up easily because they
then rising at 5:00 A.M. and singing believe the situation is permanent. The
"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" in the shower until bad events will continue and always be a
the entire household is awake, causing a part of their lives. An optimist believes
bad start to an otherwise perfectly OK the causes of bad events are temporary.
day. A far more discerning look at Here's an example you may find in your
optimists shows that they are life's big own relationships:
winners. They are richer, more PESSIMIST: "You never talk to me:"
successful, healthier, do better in OPTIMIST: "You haven't talked to me
school, and have both better lately."
relationships and marriages. Linda S. When things go wrong, everyone
Wilson, President Emerita of Radcliffe, experiences a momentary sense of failure.
says: "I'm an optimist. Optimism is the How quickly you bounce back is reflective
expectation that we can make things of this dimension of permanence.
better. For example, in the face of PERVASIVENESS
pending illness, assume that it has the Some people let failure pervade every
probability of coming out OK. It's aspect of their lives. If you lose your
important not to have a defeatist job, your role as a wife or a daughter or
attitude." What's different about a volunteer has not diminished one bit.
optimists is that they are tough-minded Dr. Seligman says it comes down to this:
and creative when faced with adversity. universal versus specific explanations.
Optimism is high mental energy. Fran "People who make universal explanations
Shea, President of E! Entertainment, for their failures give up on everything
says: "I think optimism is something you when a failure strikes in one area.
have to put effort into. I'm optimistic People who make specific explanations may
by nature, but society is so sped up, and become helpless in that one part of their
that contributes to the overwhelm mode. lives yet march stalwartly on in the
Not having time to prioritize works others."
against optimism." PERSONALIZATION
CONVENTIONAL WISDOM: Optimists can't Whom do you blame when something goes
handle reality. wrong? Those who internalize blame tend
THE REALITY OF SUCCESS: Optimists are the to have low self-esteem, feeling unloved
most skillful manipulators of reality. or unworthy, while the opposite is true
The Reality of Optimism for those who place the blame outside
Individuals who are more optimistic themselves.
report themselves to be more alert, more Becoming an optimist
proud, more enthusiastic, active, and This section will take you, step by step,
engaged. These individuals are less toward being an optimist. The more
likely to get depressed. Dr. Richard J. optimistic you become, the more your mood
Davidson, Professor of Psychology and will lift.
Psychiatry at the University of Becoming an optimist means learning a set
Wisconsin-Madium, has studied the biology of skills that help you to talk to
of optimism and found optimists have yourself when you confront failure, a
higher levels of natural killer-cell setback, or a tragedy. You'll do that by
activity with a smaller decline under changing the way you explain events to
stress, so they are more capable of yourself. Technically, Dr. Seligman calls
fighting disease. Optimists also have it the ABCDE (Adversity, Belief,
lower levels of the stress hormone Consequence, Disputation, Energization)
cortisol. All these observations add up method. Here's an example of how to fight
to solid biological advantages that may pessimistic thoughts by changing the way
help explain why optimists are generally you explain bad events.
so much more successful than pessimists. ADVERSITY
Creating the Reality of Optimism You've gotten up at the crack of dawn,
Much of what follows in this section is made the beds, called two new clients,
born of conversations with Professor and are about to leave for work when your
Martin Seligman, Ph.D., author of the four-yearold flips his breakfast onto the
acclaimed bestseller Learned Optimism and floor. You totally lose it and scream at
the world's leading authority on the little tyke, who gives you a look of
optimism, helplessness, and explanatory bewilderment.
styles. BELIEF
Overcoming helplessness "I'm a lousy mother. I just can't do it
The number one stumbling block to all. I'm providing a miserable example of
reaching success for most people is that how to behave and can't even be nice to
they do not genuinely believe that they my own children. My children will grow up
can succeed. They have learned, over to be hostile people who deal with the
time, how to become helpless. This world through the prism of anger and
condition, which Dr. Seligman calls frustration. They'll never amount to much
"learned helplessness," is at the very of anything:"
heart of pessimism. We invent a million CONSEQUENCE "I'm depressed."
different excuses as to why we can't do DISPUTATION
something - and you know what ... as a A good way to dispute any charge is to
result we can't. The sad truth is that we imagine that your worst enemy said that
are creating our own flawed destiny to you. You wouldn't believe that you
through pessimism. Dr. Seligman says were a lousy mother and would argue the
pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy: point SO, ARGUE! Like a lawyer launching
"Twenty-five years of study have an attack on a hostile witness, prepare
convinced me that if we habitually the following arguments to counter your
believe that misfortune is our fault, is pessimistic thought.
enduring, and will undermine everything - Make your belief factually incorrect
we do, more of it will befall us than if with evidence. Look at all the evidence
we believe otherwise.... If we are in the showing you that in fact you're not a
grip of this view, we will get depressed lousy mother - you take good care of your
easily, we will accomplish less than our children, get them to school on time,
potential, and we will even get read to them ... you just had a bad
physically sick more often. Pessimistic moment.
prophecies are self-fulfilling." - Decatastrophise the implications of the
Pessimists are more passive and less situation. OK, You yelled. Just how bad
likely to take steps to avoid bad events is that? Does that mean your child won't
and less likely to do anything to stop graduate from Harvard or will become an
them once they start. ax murderer? Yelling once is just not a
Who are you? Are you an optimist or a catastrophe.
pessimist? Which category do you fall - Search for alternative explanations for
into? The typical pessimist believes that your behavior. Focus on the causes that
when something bad happens, it will last are changeable, specific, and
a long time, that the event has nonpersonal. For instance, you were up
undermined everything he's ever done, all night with a new baby and just felt a
that it's entirely Ills fault. The little cranky. That's a long way from
pessimist imagines the worst, is prone to being a bad mother.
depression, and generally feels helpless. - Look at the usefulness of your belief.
The optimist believes that a bad event is How useful or productive is it for you to
temporary and surmountable, that it's a think you're a lousy mother? Does that
cause of bad luck or other people. The really help you be a better mother?
optimist is unfazed by defeat and feels Often, it's simply better to get on with
the bad event is a challenge to overcome. what you have to do, to distract
He or she easily regains energy and above yourself, than to dwell on destructive
all feels in control. beliefs.
How you explain life's events to yourself We will continue the road on, Being an
determines if you are an optimist or Optimist, next when we look at
pessimist. For pessimists, those events Energization and Immunization.




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