| OK, so maybe you hate optimists. You | | | | optimist or pessimist. For pessimists, |
| have this picture in your mind of | | | | those events are explained by Professor |
| someone mindlessly watching Pollyanna on | | | | Seligman's three "p's" of pessimism. |
| the late show until three o'clock in the | | | | PERMANENCE |
| morning, then rising at 5:00 A.M. and | | | | Pessimists give up easily because they |
| singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" in the | | | | believe the situation is permanent. The |
| shower until the entire household is | | | | bad events will continue and always be a |
| awake, causing a bad start to an | | | | part of their lives. An optimist |
| otherwise perfectly OK day. A far more | | | | believes the causes of bad events are |
| discerning look at optimists shows that | | | | temporary. Here's an example you may |
| they are life's big winners. They are | | | | find in your own relationships: |
| richer, more successful, healthier, do | | | | PESSIMIST: "You never talk to me:" |
| better in school, and have both better | | | | OPTIMIST: "You haven't talked to me |
| relationships and marriages. Linda S. | | | | lately." |
| Wilson, President Emerita of Radcliffe, | | | | When things go wrong, everyone |
| says: "I'm an optimist. Optimism is the | | | | experiences a momentary sense of |
| expectation that we can make things | | | | failure. How quickly you bounce back is |
| better. For example, in the face of | | | | reflective of this dimension of |
| pending illness, assume that it has the | | | | permanence. |
| probability of coming out OK. It's | | | | PERVASIVENESS |
| important not to have a defeatist | | | | Some people let failure pervade every |
| attitude." What's different about | | | | aspect of their lives. If you lose your |
| optimists is that they are tough-minded | | | | job, your role as a wife or a daughter |
| and creative when faced with adversity. | | | | or a volunteer has not diminished one |
| Optimism is high mental energy. Fran | | | | bit. Dr. Seligman says it comes down to |
| Shea, President of E! Entertainment, | | | | this: universal versus specific |
| says: "I think optimism is something you | | | | explanations. "People who make universal |
| have to put effort into. I'm optimistic | | | | explanations for their failures give up |
| by nature, but society is so sped up, | | | | on everything when a failure strikes in |
| and that contributes to the overwhelm | | | | one area. People who make specific |
| mode. Not having time to prioritize | | | | explanations may become helpless in that |
| works against optimism." | | | | one part of their lives yet march |
| CONVENTIONAL WISDOM: Optimists can't | | | | stalwartly on in the others." |
| handle reality. | | | | PERSONALIZATION |
| THE REALITY OF SUCCESS: Optimists are | | | | Whom do you blame when something goes |
| the most skillful manipulators of | | | | wrong? Those who internalize blame tend |
| reality. | | | | to have low self-esteem, feeling unloved |
| The Reality of Optimism | | | | or unworthy, while the opposite is true |
| Individuals who are more optimistic | | | | for those who place the blame outside |
| report themselves to be more alert, more | | | | themselves. |
| proud, more enthusiastic, active, and | | | | Becoming an optimist |
| engaged. These individuals are less | | | | This section will take you, step by |
| likely to get depressed. Dr. Richard J. | | | | step, toward being an optimist. The more |
| Davidson, Professor of Psychology and | | | | optimistic you become, the more your |
| Psychiatry at the University of | | | | mood will lift. |
| Wisconsin-Madium, has studied the | | | | Becoming an optimist means learning a |
| biology of optimism and found optimists | | | | set of skills that help you to talk to |
| have higher levels of natural | | | | yourself when you confront failure, a |
| killer-cell activity with a smaller | | | | setback, or a tragedy. You'll do that by |
| decline under stress, so they are more | | | | changing the way you explain events to |
| capable of fighting disease. Optimists | | | | yourself. Technically, Dr. Seligman |
| also have lower levels of the stress | | | | calls it the ABCDE (Adversity, Belief, |
| hormone cortisol. All these observations | | | | Consequence, Disputation, Energization) |
| add up to solid biological advantages | | | | method. Here's an example of how to |
| that may help explain why optimists are | | | | fight pessimistic thoughts by changing |
| generally so much more successful than | | | | the way you explain bad events. |
| pessimists. | | | | ADVERSITY |
| Creating the Reality of Optimism | | | | You've gotten up at the crack of dawn, |
| Much of what follows in this section is | | | | made the beds, called two new clients, |
| born of conversations with Professor | | | | and are about to leave for work when |
| Martin Seligman, Ph.D., author of the | | | | your four-yearold flips his breakfast |
| acclaimed bestseller Learned Optimism | | | | onto the floor. You totally lose it and |
| and the world's leading authority on | | | | scream at the little tyke, who gives you |
| optimism, helplessness, and explanatory | | | | a look of bewilderment. |
| styles. | | | | BELIEF |
| Overcoming helplessness | | | | "I'm a lousy mother. I just can't do it |
| The number one stumbling block to | | | | all. I'm providing a miserable example |
| reaching success for most people is that | | | | of how to behave and can't even be nice |
| they do not genuinely believe that they | | | | to my own children. My children will |
| can succeed. They have learned, over | | | | grow up to be hostile people who deal |
| time, how to become helpless. This | | | | with the world through the prism of |
| condition, which Dr. Seligman calls | | | | anger and frustration. They'll never |
| "learned helplessness," is at the very | | | | amount to much of anything:" |
| heart of pessimism. We invent a million | | | | CONSEQUENCE "I'm depressed." |
| different excuses as to why we can't do | | | | DISPUTATION |
| something - and you know what ... as a | | | | A good way to dispute any charge is to |
| result we can't. The sad truth is that | | | | imagine that your worst enemy said that |
| we are creating our own flawed destiny | | | | to you. You wouldn't believe that you |
| through pessimism. Dr. Seligman says | | | | were a lousy mother and would argue the |
| pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy: | | | | point SO, ARGUE! Like a lawyer launching |
| "Twenty-five years of study have | | | | an attack on a hostile witness, prepare |
| convinced me that if we habitually | | | | the following arguments to counter your |
| believe that misfortune is our fault, is | | | | pessimistic thought. |
| enduring, and will undermine everything | | | | - Make your belief factually incorrect |
| we do, more of it will befall us than if | | | | with evidence. Look at all the evidence |
| we believe otherwise.... If we are in | | | | showing you that in fact you're not a |
| the grip of this view, we will get | | | | lousy mother - you take good care of |
| depressed easily, we will accomplish | | | | your children, get them to school on |
| less than our potential, and we will | | | | time, read to them ... you just had a |
| even get physically sick more often. | | | | bad moment. |
| Pessimistic prophecies are | | | | - Decatastrophise the implications of |
| self-fulfilling." Pessimists are more | | | | the situation. OK, You yelled. Just how |
| passive and less likely to take steps to | | | | bad is that? Does that mean your child |
| avoid bad events and less likely to do | | | | won't graduate from Harvard or will |
| anything to stop them once they start. | | | | become an ax murderer? Yelling once is |
| Who are you? Are you an optimist or a | | | | just not a catastrophe. |
| pessimist? Which category do you fall | | | | - Search for alternative explanations |
| into? The typical pessimist believes | | | | for your behavior. Focus on the causes |
| that when something bad happens, it will | | | | that are changeable, specific, and |
| last a long time, that the event has | | | | nonpersonal. For instance, you were up |
| undermined everything he's ever done, | | | | all night with a new baby and just felt |
| that it's entirely Ills fault. The | | | | a little cranky. That's a long way from |
| pessimist imagines the worst, is prone | | | | being a bad mother. |
| to depression, and generally feels | | | | - Look at the usefulness of your belief. |
| helpless. The optimist believes that a | | | | How useful or productive is it for you |
| bad event is temporary and surmountable, | | | | to think you're a lousy mother? Does |
| that it's a cause of bad luck or other | | | | that really help you be a better mother? |
| people. The optimist is unfazed by | | | | Often, it's simply better to get on with |
| defeat and feels the bad event is a | | | | what you have to do, to distract |
| challenge to overcome. He or she easily | | | | yourself, than to dwell on destructive |
| regains energy and above all feels in | | | | beliefs. |
| control. | | | | We will continue the road on, Being an |
| How you explain life's events to | | | | Optimist, next when we look at |
| yourself determines if you are an | | | | Energization and Immunization. |