| OK, so maybe you hate optimists. You have
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| | are explained by Professor Seligman's
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| this picture in your mind of someone
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| | three "p's" of pessimism.
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| mindlessly watching Pollyanna on the late
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| | PERMANENCE
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| show until three o'clock in the morning,
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| | Pessimists give up easily because they
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| then rising at 5:00 A.M. and singing
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| | believe the situation is permanent. The
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| "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" in the shower until
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| | bad events will continue and always be a
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| the entire household is awake, causing a
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| | part of their lives. An optimist believes
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| bad start to an otherwise perfectly OK
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| | the causes of bad events are temporary.
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| day. A far more discerning look at
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| | Here's an example you may find in your
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| optimists shows that they are life's big
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| | own relationships:
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| winners. They are richer, more
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| | PESSIMIST: "You never talk to me:"
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| successful, healthier, do better in
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| | OPTIMIST: "You haven't talked to me
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| school, and have both better
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| | lately."
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| relationships and marriages. Linda S.
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| | When things go wrong, everyone
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| Wilson, President Emerita of Radcliffe,
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| | experiences a momentary sense of failure.
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| says: "I'm an optimist. Optimism is the
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| | How quickly you bounce back is reflective
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| expectation that we can make things
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| | of this dimension of permanence.
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| better. For example, in the face of
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| | PERVASIVENESS
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| pending illness, assume that it has the
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| | Some people let failure pervade every
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| probability of coming out OK. It's
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| | aspect of their lives. If you lose your
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| important not to have a defeatist
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| | job, your role as a wife or a daughter or
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| attitude." What's different about
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| | a volunteer has not diminished one bit.
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| optimists is that they are tough-minded
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| | Dr. Seligman says it comes down to this:
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| and creative when faced with adversity.
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| | universal versus specific explanations.
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| Optimism is high mental energy. Fran
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| | "People who make universal explanations
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| Shea, President of E! Entertainment,
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| | for their failures give up on everything
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| says: "I think optimism is something you
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| | when a failure strikes in one area.
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| have to put effort into. I'm optimistic
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| | People who make specific explanations may
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| by nature, but society is so sped up, and
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| | become helpless in that one part of their
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| that contributes to the overwhelm mode.
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| | lives yet march stalwartly on in the
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| Not having time to prioritize works
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| | others."
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| against optimism."
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| | PERSONALIZATION
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| CONVENTIONAL WISDOM: Optimists can't
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| | Whom do you blame when something goes
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| handle reality.
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| | wrong? Those who internalize blame tend
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| THE REALITY OF SUCCESS: Optimists are the
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| | to have low self-esteem, feeling unloved
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| most skillful manipulators of reality.
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| | or unworthy, while the opposite is true
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| The Reality of Optimism
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| | for those who place the blame outside
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| Individuals who are more optimistic
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| | themselves.
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| report themselves to be more alert, more
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| | Becoming an optimist
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| proud, more enthusiastic, active, and
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| | This section will take you, step by step,
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| engaged. These individuals are less
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| | toward being an optimist. The more
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| likely to get depressed. Dr. Richard J.
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| | optimistic you become, the more your mood
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| Davidson, Professor of Psychology and
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| | will lift.
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| Psychiatry at the University of
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| | Becoming an optimist means learning a set
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| Wisconsin-Madium, has studied the biology
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| | of skills that help you to talk to
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| of optimism and found optimists have
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| | yourself when you confront failure, a
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| higher levels of natural killer-cell
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| | setback, or a tragedy. You'll do that by
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| activity with a smaller decline under
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| | changing the way you explain events to
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| stress, so they are more capable of
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| | yourself. Technically, Dr. Seligman calls
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| fighting disease. Optimists also have
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| | it the ABCDE (Adversity, Belief,
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| lower levels of the stress hormone
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| | Consequence, Disputation, Energization)
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| cortisol. All these observations add up
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| | method. Here's an example of how to fight
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| to solid biological advantages that may
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| | pessimistic thoughts by changing the way
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| help explain why optimists are generally
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| | you explain bad events.
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| so much more successful than pessimists.
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| | ADVERSITY
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| Creating the Reality of Optimism
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| | You've gotten up at the crack of dawn,
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| Much of what follows in this section is
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| | made the beds, called two new clients,
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| born of conversations with Professor
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| | and are about to leave for work when your
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| Martin Seligman, Ph.D., author of the
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| | four-yearold flips his breakfast onto the
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| acclaimed bestseller Learned Optimism and
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| | floor. You totally lose it and scream at
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| the world's leading authority on
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| | the little tyke, who gives you a look of
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| optimism, helplessness, and explanatory
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| | bewilderment.
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| styles.
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| | BELIEF
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| Overcoming helplessness
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| | "I'm a lousy mother. I just can't do it
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| The number one stumbling block to
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| | all. I'm providing a miserable example of
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| reaching success for most people is that
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| | how to behave and can't even be nice to
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| they do not genuinely believe that they
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| | my own children. My children will grow up
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| can succeed. They have learned, over
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| | to be hostile people who deal with the
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| time, how to become helpless. This
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| | world through the prism of anger and
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| condition, which Dr. Seligman calls
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| | frustration. They'll never amount to much
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| "learned helplessness," is at the very
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| | of anything:"
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| heart of pessimism. We invent a million
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| | CONSEQUENCE "I'm depressed."
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| different excuses as to why we can't do
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| | DISPUTATION
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| something - and you know what ... as a
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| | A good way to dispute any charge is to
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| result we can't. The sad truth is that we
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| | imagine that your worst enemy said that
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| are creating our own flawed destiny
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| | to you. You wouldn't believe that you
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| through pessimism. Dr. Seligman says
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| | were a lousy mother and would argue the
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| pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy:
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| | point SO, ARGUE! Like a lawyer launching
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| "Twenty-five years of study have
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| | an attack on a hostile witness, prepare
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| convinced me that if we habitually
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| | the following arguments to counter your
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| believe that misfortune is our fault, is
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| | pessimistic thought.
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| enduring, and will undermine everything
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| | - Make your belief factually incorrect
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| we do, more of it will befall us than if
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| | with evidence. Look at all the evidence
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| we believe otherwise.... If we are in the
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| | showing you that in fact you're not a
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| grip of this view, we will get depressed
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| | lousy mother - you take good care of your
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| easily, we will accomplish less than our
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| | children, get them to school on time,
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| potential, and we will even get
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| | read to them ... you just had a bad
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| physically sick more often. Pessimistic
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| | moment.
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| prophecies are self-fulfilling."
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| | - Decatastrophise the implications of the
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| Pessimists are more passive and less
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| | situation. OK, You yelled. Just how bad
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| likely to take steps to avoid bad events
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| | is that? Does that mean your child won't
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| and less likely to do anything to stop
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| | graduate from Harvard or will become an
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| them once they start.
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| | ax murderer? Yelling once is just not a
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| Who are you? Are you an optimist or a
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| | catastrophe.
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| pessimist? Which category do you fall
| |
| | - Search for alternative explanations for
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| into? The typical pessimist believes that
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| | your behavior. Focus on the causes that
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| when something bad happens, it will last
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| | are changeable, specific, and
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| a long time, that the event has
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| | nonpersonal. For instance, you were up
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| undermined everything he's ever done,
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| | all night with a new baby and just felt a
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| that it's entirely Ills fault. The
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| | little cranky. That's a long way from
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| pessimist imagines the worst, is prone to
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| | being a bad mother.
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| depression, and generally feels helpless.
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| | - Look at the usefulness of your belief.
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| The optimist believes that a bad event is
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| | How useful or productive is it for you to
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| temporary and surmountable, that it's a
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| | think you're a lousy mother? Does that
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| cause of bad luck or other people. The
| |
| | really help you be a better mother?
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| optimist is unfazed by defeat and feels
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| | Often, it's simply better to get on with
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| the bad event is a challenge to overcome.
| |
| | what you have to do, to distract
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| He or she easily regains energy and above
| |
| | yourself, than to dwell on destructive
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| all feels in control.
| |
| | beliefs.
|
| How you explain life's events to yourself
| |
| | We will continue the road on, Being an
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| determines if you are an optimist or
| |
| | Optimist, next when we look at
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| pessimist. For pessimists, those events
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| | Energization and Immunization.
|
