| How can anyone with the brain of a | | | | picked up as a youngster is a poor way |
| cockroach make such a stupid | | | | to shape your life into a successful |
| statement?So rang out the scorn of a | | | | affair. In our conventional behavioral |
| killer talk show host on a television | | | | patterns many mistakes have been handed |
| station in Cleveland. When I was on tour | | | | down from generation to generation. At |
| in his city, John Kelly quoted Leo | | | | home you were probably socialized not to |
| Derocher who said just the opposite -- | | | | ask embarrassing questions of your |
| "Nice guys finish last." Kelly also | | | | elders. At school you were expected to |
| quoted from books like Winning Through | | | | memorize the correct answers. And if you |
| Intimidation, Looking Out For Number ONE | | | | are like most people, you are still |
| and possibly, Succeeding With A Swift | | | | waiting for someone to ask the right |
| Kick To the Groin.John Kelly had done | | | | questions so you can show what a good |
| everything except put a dunce-cap on my | | | | student you were.Unfortunately for your |
| head as he seated me on a stool before | | | | welfare, no one is ever going to ask |
| the cameras and, despite his complete | | | | them, since most of the answers you |
| ignorance of what I was teaching, | | | | learned in school are no longer |
| proceeded to ridicule my leadership | | | | appropriate. Yet -- millions of men and |
| seminar for managers, pastors, teachers | | | | women who would never imagine crossing |
| and other professionals. He held my book | | | | the country by covered wagon instead of |
| up for the audience of some three | | | | jet aircraft, who would never take some |
| hundred people -- with tens of thousands | | | | medicine man's snake-oil cure, try to |
| more watching from their homes, and | | | | succeed in life by using methods that |
| asked;Who can believe this drivel? | | | | were outdated a century ago. And then |
| Everyone on earth knows that a nice guy | | | | can't understand why they aren't among |
| or gal hasn't a choice in this lousy, | | | | the successful achievers.Today, men and |
| rotten world. You gotta be tough and | | | | women are having to cope with complex |
| mean to be successful. Everywhere! How | | | | events that are affecting their lives in |
| many agree with me that this stuff is | | | | many crucial ways. Medicine, personal |
| nonsense? Raise your hands.That was | | | | behavior, education, entertainment, |
| premature since no one there had any | | | | sexual customs, engineering and business |
| idea what I was teaching in the seminar, | | | | methods are all changing more rapidly |
| but they voted as Kelly asked them to. | | | | than at any time in history. We no |
| Many had preconceived notions and about | | | | sooner get comfortable than life rolls |
| two hundred people in the studio agreed | | | | over once again, forcing us to learn an |
| with John. He then asked, How many agree | | | | entirely new set of attitudes, |
| with -- he didn't actually say it -- | | | | activities and relationships!And yet, |
| this dunce on the stool, but his | | | | not one of the changes sweeping over us |
| non-verbal communication made his | | | | like Pacific waves crashing onto a reef, |
| meaning quite clear. John was all geared | | | | has such critical implications when |
| up to take me apart for writing | | | | making one's life count for something |
| something he didn't understand. He | | | | satisfying as the attitudes that people |
| pointed to the overwhelming number of | | | | now hold toward power and control.The |
| hands in the air and said; Take it from | | | | John Wayne or John Rambo mystique (Tell |
| there, Doc. Let's see how you handle | | | | the jerks what to do!) doesn't motivate |
| this rejection. He sat down in the | | | | competent persons any more. If it ever |
| audience, as all three cameras zoomed in | | | | did! For example, since the disasters |
| close -- to watch me sweat, I suppose. | | | | caused by fighting the wrong people, in |
| Because I knew what my program was all | | | | the wrong place, at the wrong time -- |
| about and he didn't -- I countered by | | | | during America's shameful wars against |
| agreeing with the host. I said;If you | | | | poor, dark-skinned Third World nations |
| consider a nice guy or gal a doormat, a | | | | such as Vietnam, Libya, Panama, Granada, |
| wimp, a marshmallow -- I agree with you | | | | Lebanon, Somalia and others, many |
| completely. Such a person doesn't have a | | | | perceptive women and men have lost faith |
| chance to succeed in a tough, | | | | in our institutions.We see Congress and |
| competitive world in which many other | | | | state Legislatures consistently selling |
| persons are striving for the same things | | | | out to the highest bidder, business |
| we want for ourselves. The tough-minded | | | | organizations disposing of the faithful |
| guys and gals will run over the wimps in | | | | employees who do their best work at the |
| a very short time. I, however don't | | | | drop of a point on Wall Street, the |
| think of the doormats of the world as | | | | criminal justice system with |
| truly nice guys and gals. I see nice | | | | trigger-happy cops and politically |
| persons as competent and intelligent | | | | ambitious district attorneys regularly |
| persons who understand the nature of | | | | convicting and legally murdering |
| influence, cooperation and persuasion | | | | unfortunate, mostly poor, minority men |
| power -- as those who;MANAGE | | | | who couldn't possibly have committed the |
| INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH | | | | crimes for which they are being |
| KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOMSHARE THE REWARDS OF | | | | executed. The very flexible morality of |
| ACHIEVEMENT WITH THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO | | | | primitive politicians, greedy business |
| HELP THEM SUCCEEDCREATE COMMUNITIES OF | | | | executives, powerful governmental |
| SATISFIED ACHIEVERS IN WHICH EVERY | | | | officials and existentially enraged |
| PERSON IS A RESPECTED MEMBERAnd that, I | | | | citizens who feel the execution of any |
| said to the group, is my definition of a | | | | minority man whether guilty or not is a |
| nice guy or gal, of an authentic, | | | | good day's work -- is a weak reed upon |
| emotionally honest parent, teacher, | | | | which to lean.Every person with a |
| manager, pastor, military officer or | | | | smattering of intelligence realizes he |
| what have you!I folded my arms and sat | | | | or she is out there on the bubble -- |
| back on the stool -- waiting, for I had | | | | pretty much alone -- on his or her own, |
| said all I intended to in defense of | | | | much of the time. Few of us without the |
| NICE GUYS AND GALS. So, I waited and | | | | support of government or great wealth |
| waited -- for John to rouse up from his | | | | have the power needed to demand |
| confusion. I could almost hear the gears | | | | cooperation from others. Not long ago a |
| whirring in his head as first one cam- | | | | middle-aged local realtor told me of an |
| era and then another zoomed in on me and | | | | experience he had with his youthful |
| then on to John and panned the audience | | | | secretary. Dan said that Dianne was a |
| be- fore coming back to me and John -- | | | | hardworking, high-spirited employee who |
| for almost a minute. And that, is an | | | | was competent and loyal enough to become |
| eternity of dead time on television. The | | | | his administrative assistant. He said, |
| camera operators were getting frantic | | | | she reminded him of the flippant young |
| when John finally stood, shook his head | | | | secretary in the T V series THE |
| to clear his thoughts and muttered right | | | | PRACTICE. But he began to notice, to his |
| on the air;Well, I'll be damned! I never | | | | middle age displeasure, that she was |
| thought of nice guys that way.Most | | | | dressing more and more casually, as if |
| people don't but we then had a great | | | | she were going to a picnic rather than |
| time on his show. I convinced him my | | | | to a business operation. So, he called |
| approach is by far the best way to | | | | her into his office and tactfully asked |
| succeeding throughout life, rather than | | | | her to dress according to his code -- |
| by clawing and screaming, trying to | | | | the long accepted business code set by |
| defeat everyone else, destroying the | | | | such giants as I B M, General Motors and |
| relationships that create friend- ship | | | | Honeywell. The young woman sat silently |
| and love, clogging your arteries and | | | | as he spoke, but when he finished, she |
| corroding the plumbing that keeps you | | | | stood up and said quite pointedly;Who |
| alive -- with bile and acids boiling | | | | needs this crap in an informal business |
| through your vascular and digestive | | | | such as this?Then she walked out of his |
| systems.John had the people vote again | | | | office, returned to her desk, and |
| and this time all but two men of the | | | | continued to work harder and smarter for |
| three hundred or so in the audience | | | | his small company than any assistant he |
| voted that nice guys and gals did indeed | | | | had ever employed. As he related the |
| have a greater chance at success if they | | | | story, Dan sighed deeply and said there |
| followed my view of sound relationships. | | | | was little he could do about her |
| They immediately saw the wisdom in my | | | | impertinence, unless he wanted to cut |
| approach and I trust that you also shall | | | | off his nose to spite his face. He could |
| understand it that way! The next Sunday, | | | | protect his ego against an outspoken |
| after I'd returned to Minneapolis, I | | | | girl -- could fire her of course, and |
| drew my pastor aside, told him my tale | | | | really teach her a lesson, forcing her |
| and joked;If you had my percentage of | | | | to take unemployment pay, a month or two |
| conversions, we'd have the largest | | | | of subsidized vacation, and get a job |
| congregation in the country!MAKING YOUR | | | | with a company that would not be so |
| LIFE COUNTThis course is about people | | | | stuffy about the way she dressed. But, |
| and about succeeding or failing in life, | | | | he would be the real loser. He would |
| since some degree of success and failure | | | | spend a month trying to find a suitable |
| are the only real options that are open | | | | replacement, another three or four |
| to us. It is written with the knowledge | | | | months trying to help the newcomer learn |
| that neither power nor pleasure exists | | | | the job, and another six months blaming |
| in a vacuum. Virtually everything good | | | | himself for letting his ego cost him a |
| we do in life requires the cooperation | | | | year's efficiency in his office. He kept |
| of people in different ways. And every | | | | his mouth shut and retained a great |
| one of them has his or her own agenda | | | | assistant -- for he lacked the power to |
| that is personally important.Therefore, | | | | make her comply with his |
| you will have to overpower, out-skill, | | | | requirements.Indeed life does go on and |
| deceive, or persuade others before | | | | we must adapt, must cope with reality in |
| society will consistently allow you to | | | | order to succeed, even if doing so makes |
| share in the marbles, money, passionate | | | | us suspect that the world is going to |
| lovers, prestige or promotions you want. | | | | hell in a handcart, because humans hate |
| Only in this way can you make your life | | | | change inordinately and yearn to freeze |
| count for something worthwhile.Of | | | | life as it was when we were learning it. |
| course, few of the people who are | | | | Even when doing so costs us a bundle. |
| succeeding are willing to share their | | | | Many people do just that because |
| hard-earned knowledge with you. Mentors | | | | personal prestige is more important to |
| are hard to find and they always want | | | | themselves than performance or profits, |
| much in return for any help they | | | | but it quickly leads to dysfunctional |
| offer.The purpose of this course is to | | | | families, schools, companies, churches |
| teach you how to predict the attitudes | | | | and communities.Visit our website at |
| and activities of the men and women you | | | | Wishes, |
| must influence every day in order to | | | | Jard DeVilleThe Author - Jard DeVille, |
| keep your life successful. It also shows | | | | after his World War II era service in |
| you how to influence their choices in | | | | the Seventh and Fifth Army Air Forces, |
| ways they approve by using sound methods | | | | studied, ministered to several |
| of personal effectiveness. You can do | | | | congregations and taught college |
| these things by learning and using | | | | psychology for almost two decades. |
| powerful techniques developed by some | | | | DeVille was Psychology Department Chair |
| very good psychiatrists and | | | | at Westminster College, Director of the |
| psychologists. These methods are unknown | | | | Kenosha Child Conservation Center in |
| to most people, although professional | | | | conjunction with the University of |
| therapists, consultants and social | | | | Wisconsin at Madison and taught |
| workers have been using them for decades | | | | leadership psychology for years in the |
| with much success.Most people struggle | | | | Executive Development Program for the |
| through life the best way they can, | | | | University of Arizona at Tucson. He |
| succeeding once in a while, but more | | | | served as Manager of Engineering |
| often failing because they never learned | | | | Research, Methods and Training for |
| how to consistently make good things | | | | UniRoyal chemical complex and as Vice |
| happen when and where they are needed. | | | | President of Manufacturing for automated |
| They simply blunder along -- accepting | | | | farm tools in Derardean Corporation.Jard |
| whatever the luck of the draw offers | | | | has published more than a score of |
| them daily, never really taking charge | | | | psychology books, seminars and |
| of their relationships in a mutually | | | | psychological assessment instruments. |
| rewarding manner that keeps people | | | | His book NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST was |
| cooperating with them.Many persons try | | | | powerful in English, Japanese and |
| to succeed by using the values, | | | | Spanish editions. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF |
| attitudes, expectations, and skills they | | | | LEADERSHIP was New American Library's |
| chanced on in childhood. Unfortunately, | | | | offering in their Executive Development |
| in this age of relentless change, when | | | | Series. For twenty years he was |
| power and authority are shared by more | | | | considered by many to be America's |
| and more people, to depend on what you | | | | foremost leadership scholar. |