| How can anyone with the brain of a cockroach | | | | into a successful affair. In our conventional |
| make such a stupid statement?So rang out the | | | | behavioral patterns many mistakes have been |
| scorn of a killer talk show host on a | | | | handed down from generation to generation. At |
| television station in Cleveland. When I was | | | | home you were probably socialized not to ask |
| on tour in his city, John Kelly quoted Leo | | | | embarrassing questions of your elders. At |
| Derocher who said just the opposite -- "Nice | | | | school you were expected to memorize the |
| guys finish last." Kelly also quoted from | | | | correct answers. And if you are like most |
| books like Winning Through Intimidation, | | | | people, you are still waiting for someone to |
| Looking Out For Number ONE and possibly, | | | | ask the right questions so you can show what |
| Succeeding With A Swift Kick To the | | | | a good student you were.Unfortunately for |
| Groin.John Kelly had done everything except | | | | your welfare, no one is ever going to ask |
| put a dunce-cap on my head as he seated me on | | | | them, since most of the answers you learned |
| a stool before the cameras and, despite his | | | | in school are no longer appropriate. Yet -- |
| complete ignorance of what I was teaching, | | | | millions of men and women who would never |
| proceeded to ridicule my leadership seminar | | | | imagine crossing the country by covered wagon |
| for managers, pastors, teachers and other | | | | instead of jet aircraft, who would never take |
| professionals. He held my book up for the | | | | some medicine man's snake-oil cure, try to |
| audience of some three hundred people -- with | | | | succeed in life by using methods that were |
| tens of thousands more watching from their | | | | outdated a century ago. And then can't |
| homes, and asked;Who can believe this drivel? | | | | understand why they aren't among the |
| Everyone on earth knows that a nice guy or | | | | successful achievers.Today, men and women are |
| gal hasn't a choice in this lousy, rotten | | | | having to cope with complex events that are |
| world. You gotta be tough and mean to be | | | | affecting their lives in many crucial ways. |
| successful. Everywhere! How many agree with | | | | Medicine, personal behavior, education, |
| me that this stuff is nonsense? Raise your | | | | entertainment, sexual customs, engineering |
| hands.That was premature since no one there | | | | and business methods are all changing more |
| had any idea what I was teaching in the | | | | rapidly than at any time in history. We no |
| seminar, but they voted as Kelly asked them | | | | sooner get comfortable than life rolls over |
| to. Many had preconceived notions and about | | | | once again, forcing us to learn an entirely |
| two hundred people in the studio agreed with | | | | new set of attitudes, activities and |
| John. He then asked, How many agree with -- | | | | relationships!And yet, not one of the changes |
| he didn't actually say it -- this dunce on | | | | sweeping over us like Pacific waves crashing |
| the stool, but his non-verbal communication | | | | onto a reef, has such critical implications |
| made his meaning quite clear. John was all | | | | when making one's life count for something |
| geared up to take me apart for writing | | | | satisfying as the attitudes that people now |
| something he didn't understand. He pointed to | | | | hold toward power and control.The John Wayne |
| the overwhelming number of hands in the air | | | | or John Rambo mystique (Tell the jerks what |
| and said; Take it from there, Doc. Let's see | | | | to do!) doesn't motivate competent persons |
| how you handle this rejection. He sat down in | | | | any more. If it ever did! For example, since |
| the audience, as all three cameras zoomed in | | | | the disasters caused by fighting the wrong |
| close -- to watch me sweat, I suppose. | | | | people, in the wrong place, at the wrong time |
| Because I knew what my program was all about | | | | -- during America's shameful wars against |
| and he didn't -- I countered by agreeing with | | | | poor, dark-skinned Third World nations such |
| the host. I said;If you consider a nice guy | | | | as Vietnam, Libya, Panama, Granada, Lebanon, |
| or gal a doormat, a wimp, a marshmallow -- I | | | | Somalia and others, many perceptive women and |
| agree with you completely. Such a person | | | | men have lost faith in our institutions.We |
| doesn't have a chance to succeed in a tough, | | | | see Congress and state Legislatures |
| competitive world in which many other persons | | | | consistently selling out to the highest |
| are striving for the same things we want for | | | | bidder, business organizations disposing of |
| ourselves. The tough-minded guys and gals | | | | the faithful employees who do their best work |
| will run over the wimps in a very short time. | | | | at the drop of a point on Wall Street, the |
| I, however don't think of the doormats of the | | | | criminal justice system with trigger-happy |
| world as truly nice guys and gals. I see nice | | | | cops and politically ambitious district |
| persons as competent and intelligent persons | | | | attorneys regularly convicting and legally |
| who understand the nature of influence, | | | | murdering unfortunate, mostly poor, minority |
| cooperation and persuasion power -- as those | | | | men who couldn't possibly have committed the |
| who;MANAGE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH | | | | crimes for which they are being executed. The |
| KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOMSHARE THE REWARDS OF | | | | very flexible morality of primitive |
| ACHIEVEMENT WITH THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HELP | | | | politicians, greedy business executives, |
| THEM SUCCEEDCREATE COMMUNITIES OF SATISFIED | | | | powerful governmental officials and |
| ACHIEVERS IN WHICH EVERY PERSON IS A | | | | existentially enraged citizens who feel the |
| RESPECTED MEMBERAnd that, I said to the | | | | execution of any minority man whether guilty |
| group, is my definition of a nice guy or gal, | | | | or not is a good day's work -- is a weak reed |
| of an authentic, emotionally honest parent, | | | | upon which to lean.Every person with a |
| teacher, manager, pastor, military officer or | | | | smattering of intelligence realizes he or she |
| what have you!I folded my arms and sat back | | | | is out there on the bubble -- pretty much |
| on the stool -- waiting, for I had said all I | | | | alone -- on his or her own, much of the time. |
| intended to in defense of NICE GUYS AND GALS. | | | | Few of us without the support of government |
| So, I waited and waited -- for John to rouse | | | | or great wealth have the power needed to |
| up from his confusion. I could almost hear | | | | demand cooperation from others. Not long ago |
| the gears whirring in his head as first one | | | | a middle-aged local realtor told me of an |
| cam- era and then another zoomed in on me and | | | | experience he had with his youthful |
| then on to John and panned the audience be- | | | | secretary. Dan said that Dianne was a |
| fore coming back to me and John -- for almost | | | | hardworking, high-spirited employee who was |
| a minute. And that, is an eternity of dead | | | | competent and loyal enough to become his |
| time on television. The camera operators were | | | | administrative assistant. He said, she |
| getting frantic when John finally stood, | | | | reminded him of the flippant young secretary |
| shook his head to clear his thoughts and | | | | in the T V series THE PRACTICE. But he began |
| muttered right on the air;Well, I'll be | | | | to notice, to his middle age displeasure, |
| damned! I never thought of nice guys that | | | | that she was dressing more and more casually, |
| way.Most people don't but we then had a great | | | | as if she were going to a picnic rather than |
| time on his show. I convinced him my approach | | | | to a business operation. So, he called her |
| is by far the best way to succeeding | | | | into his office and tactfully asked her to |
| throughout life, rather than by clawing and | | | | dress according to his code -- the long |
| screaming, trying to defeat everyone else, | | | | accepted business code set by such giants as |
| destroying the relationships that create | | | | I B M, General Motors and Honeywell. The |
| friend- ship and love, clogging your arteries | | | | young woman sat silently as he spoke, but |
| and corroding the plumbing that keeps you | | | | when he finished, she stood up and said quite |
| alive -- with bile and acids boiling through | | | | pointedly;Who needs this crap in an informal |
| your vascular and digestive systems.John had | | | | business such as this?Then she walked out of |
| the people vote again and this time all but | | | | his office, returned to her desk, and |
| two men of the three hundred or so in the | | | | continued to work harder and smarter for his |
| audience voted that nice guys and gals did | | | | small company than any assistant he had ever |
| indeed have a greater chance at success if | | | | employed. As he related the story, Dan sighed |
| they followed my view of sound relationships. | | | | deeply and said there was little he could do |
| They immediately saw the wisdom in my | | | | about her impertinence, unless he wanted to |
| approach and I trust that you also shall | | | | cut off his nose to spite his face. He could |
| understand it that way! The next Sunday, | | | | protect his ego against an outspoken girl -- |
| after I'd returned to Minneapolis, I drew my | | | | could fire her of course, and really teach |
| pastor aside, told him my tale and joked;If | | | | her a lesson, forcing her to take |
| you had my percentage of conversions, we'd | | | | unemployment pay, a month or two of |
| have the largest congregation in the | | | | subsidized vacation, and get a job with a |
| country!MAKING YOUR LIFE COUNTThis course is | | | | company that would not be so stuffy about the |
| about people and about succeeding or failing | | | | way she dressed. But, he would be the real |
| in life, since some degree of success and | | | | loser. He would spend a month trying to find |
| failure are the only real options that are | | | | a suitable replacement, another three or four |
| open to us. It is written with the knowledge | | | | months trying to help the newcomer learn the |
| that neither power nor pleasure exists in a | | | | job, and another six months blaming himself |
| vacuum. Virtually everything good we do in | | | | for letting his ego cost him a year's |
| life requires the cooperation of people in | | | | efficiency in his office. He kept his mouth |
| different ways. And every one of them has his | | | | shut and retained a great assistant -- for he |
| or her own agenda that is personally | | | | lacked the power to make her comply with his |
| important.Therefore, you will have to | | | | requirements.Indeed life does go on and we |
| overpower, out-skill, deceive, or persuade | | | | must adapt, must cope with reality in order |
| others before society will consistently allow | | | | to succeed, even if doing so makes us suspect |
| you to share in the marbles, money, | | | | that the world is going to hell in a |
| passionate lovers, prestige or promotions you | | | | handcart, because humans hate change |
| want. Only in this way can you make your life | | | | inordinately and yearn to freeze life as it |
| count for something worthwhile.Of course, few | | | | was when we were learning it. Even when doing |
| of the people who are succeeding are willing | | | | so costs us a bundle. Many people do just |
| to share their hard-earned knowledge with | | | | that because personal prestige is more |
| you. Mentors are hard to find and they always | | | | important to themselves than performance or |
| want much in return for any help they | | | | profits, but it quickly leads to |
| offer.The purpose of this course is to teach | | | | dysfunctional families, schools, companies, |
| you how to predict the attitudes and | | | | churches and communities.Visit our website at |
| activities of the men and women you must | | | | Wishes, |
| influence every day in order to keep your | | | | |
| life successful. It also shows you how to | | | | Jard DeVilleThe Author - Jard DeVille, after |
| influence their choices in ways they approve | | | | his World War II era service in the Seventh |
| by using sound methods of personal | | | | and Fifth Army Air Forces, studied, |
| effectiveness. You can do these things by | | | | ministered to several congregations and |
| learning and using powerful techniques | | | | taught college psychology for almost two |
| developed by some very good psychiatrists and | | | | decades. DeVille was Psychology Department |
| psychologists. These methods are unknown to | | | | Chair at Westminster College, Director of the |
| most people, although professional | | | | Kenosha Child Conservation Center in |
| therapists, consultants and social workers | | | | conjunction with the University of Wisconsin |
| have been using them for decades with much | | | | at Madison and taught leadership psychology |
| success.Most people struggle through life the | | | | for years in the Executive Development |
| best way they can, succeeding once in a | | | | Program for the University of Arizona at |
| while, but more often failing because they | | | | Tucson. He served as Manager of Engineering |
| never learned how to consistently make good | | | | Research, Methods and Training for UniRoyal |
| things happen when and where they are needed. | | | | chemical complex and as Vice President of |
| They simply blunder along -- accepting | | | | Manufacturing for automated farm tools in |
| whatever the luck of the draw offers them | | | | Derardean Corporation.Jard has published more |
| daily, never really taking charge of their | | | | than a score of psychology books, seminars |
| relationships in a mutually rewarding manner | | | | and psychological assessment instruments. His |
| that keeps people cooperating with them.Many | | | | book NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST was powerful in |
| persons try to succeed by using the values, | | | | English, Japanese and Spanish editions. THE |
| attitudes, expectations, and skills they | | | | PSYCHOLOGY OF LEADERSHIP was New American |
| chanced on in childhood. Unfortunately, in | | | | Library's offering in their Executive |
| this age of relentless change, when power and | | | | Development Series. For twenty years he was |
| authority are shared by more and more people, | | | | considered by many to be America's foremost |
| to depend on what you picked up as a | | | | leadership scholar. |
| youngster is a poor way to shape your life | | | | |